My daughter called me up to tell me that my 8-year-old grand-daughter had a play date with her friend yesterday. Apparently, after the play date, the two girls had a spat on the telephone. The little girl told my granddaughter “That is why you don’t have a father.” My grand-daughter replied, “Just because he is not here, does not mean that he does not love me” and then she hung up the phone. She then proceeded to run to her mother and, of course, she started to bawl. As my daughter recounted the story to me, my heart absolutely broke into two.
What do you say to a child yearning for her biological father to be present? How do you defend her heart from such cruel words? I spoke with her and commended her on how she handled the situation. I told her that she is correct that he still loves her, although he is not present. I told her that sometimes fathers are not around, but that’s okay because she has two grandpas plus a dad. I recounted the tale of my once absent father who I am now taking care of. I told her that I loved her.
How heartbreaking! Why would a man keep making promises to come to see his daughter and never show? Why would a man not pick up his cellphone when his child calls him over and over again? Why would he send her straight to voicemail? And, how do you answer those questions as she poses them to you? Oh, I pray for the day when she will be able to put this all behind her. Then again, will there ever be such a day?
I guess we all deal with parental absences in different ways. My father was not around when I was growing up, and it never really bothered me. I never yearned for my absent dad as my grand baby does for her own father. Maybe because he was in her life until she was about four years old and she remembers him. Never had memories of my dad as a young child. Looking for remedies to heal this broken heart right now.
Not all Fathers are absent, and of course, there is always Father God!!
Thank you God for being there for me, and I know you will also be there for my grand-baby. My heart is on the mend.
